domingo, 26 de junio de 2011

feedback


Feedback: explanation.

The Mississippi Skeiks are coming to our town¡

The Mississippi Skeiks are coming to our town next Tuesday, as part of their “Rock my Boat” tour. The tour has been a total blast all over the country, and even on some parts of Canada¡
Bo Carter the vocalist of the group, expressed to be very interesting in playing on one of America`s fun-needing county.
Mississippi Skeiks have prepared also some covers like” Happy days are here again” of Ben Selvin, “ Puttin on the Ritz” of Harry Richman and more top songs from de decade¡
The group promises every Maycomb will sing and dance like there is no tomorrow. Tickets are available for sale next Maycomb`s primary school. Prices goes from 10 dollars to 75 dollars.
This is one in a lifetime chance, don`t you miss it. Skeiks are waiting for you¡

Assessment criteria:
1)      Quality of ideas( content, setting, critical thinking)

The setting is related with the book to kill a mockingbird, the town called Maycomb( Alabama), south of North America, but I would have included a context, specially society, culture, historical period, fiction related with the book, with themes talking about rape, racial discrimination, destruction of the innocence, class, courage, compassion, and roles of the human race.

2)      Organization ( test type, linking devices, paragraphs, sentences type)

Test type: a piece of news, but It’ s missing the subtitle.
Linking devices: what I found is:  as part of, even on, also.
Linking devices have been absent, to make contrasting points: although, however, nevertheless, yet, while, despite, even if, at the same time, but, in spite of.
To express cause: because of, owing to, due to, .
To express effect: therefor, thus, as a result,.
To add more point on a topic: also, apart from, too, furthermore, what is more.
To express reality: actually, in fact, as a matter of fact.

Paragraphs: the type used in this notice is persuasion, I think is very interesting because is used for capture the attention of people and motivate them to buy tickets for the concert.
However is only one paragraph, you should have used more than one.

Sentence types:
The Mississippi Skeiks are coming to our town next Tuesday, as part of their” Rock my Boat” tour. Complex sentence.
The tour has been a total blast all over the country, and even on some parts of Canada¡ Compound sentence.
Bo Carter, the vocalist of the group, expressed to be very interesting in playing on one of America’s most fun-needing county. Simple sentence.
Mississippi Skeiks have prepared also some covers like “Happy days are here again” of Ben Selvin, “ Puttin on the Ritz” of Harry Richman and more top songs from the decade. Compound sentence.
The group promises every Maycomb inhabitant will sing and dance like is there no tomorrow. Compound sentence.
Tickets are available for sale next to Maycomb’s primary school. Compound sentence.
Prices goes from 10 dollars to 75 dollars. Simple sentence.
This is one in a lifetime chance, don`t you miss it. Simple and imperative sentence.
Skeiks are waiting for you¡. Simple and exclamatory sentence.
You included sentence types but I also  would have included compound- complex sentences.

3)      Language( grammar, vocabulary, rhetorical devices)

I think that grammar is ok, but it is not very well structured, because there are not linking devices.
Vocabulary is ok but I would have included vocabulary related with the social context, cultural and historical period of the book (South of North America) , for example words related with racism, rape, innocence and fiction.

Rhetorical devices:
The group promises every Maycomb inhabitant will sing and dance like there is not tomorrow. Comparison.
“ Happy days are here again”. Alliteration.
Prices  goes from 10 dollars to 75 dollars. Repetition.
I did not find some much rhetorical devices like metaphors (it directly says something is something else for example: your eyes are two stars, hyperbole( the use of an exaggeration) , personification (giving human traits to non-living objects), so you should have included some of these rhetorical devices.
However my score is a 7.





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